From The Onion (so be forewarned):

WASHINGTON—A shocking report released by the U.S. Department of Education this week revealed that a growing number of the nation’s educators struggle on a daily basis with some form of teaching disability.

The study, which surveyed 2,500 elementary and high school level instructors across the country, found that nearly one out of every five exhibited behaviors typically associated with a teaching impairment. Among them: trouble paying attention in school, lack of interest or motivation during class, and severe emotional issues.

“For teaching-disabled and at-risk educators, just coming to school every day is a challenge,” said Dr. Robert Hughes, a behavioral psychologist and lead author of the study. “Even simple tasks, like remaining alert and engaged during lessons, can be a struggle. Unfortunately, unless we take immediate action, these under-performers will only continue to fall further behind.”