“In a column for Newsbusters today, Chuck Norris (who is tougher than you) came out strongly against the Department of Education’s “Common Core” curriculum standards (CCSS). In criticizing  this unprecedented federal reach into the classroom, Norris (who eats nails for breakfast) said, “The feds have abandoned their commitment to stay out of local academic affairs by using CCSS to usurp power over public schools and influence young American minds.”

Upon hearing of Norris’ declaration (which caused the ground itself to shake), tweeters immediately saw that this might be the end of Common Core as we know it.”

Here’s some good ones:

Chuck Norris doesn’t take tests. He stares at them until the answers reveal themselves. #chucknorrisedufacts—
  (@StudentsFirst) November 11, 2013

Chuck Norris’ biggest beef with NCLB? The 100% proficiency target was too dang low. #chucknorrisedufacts—
Ken Libby (@kenmlibby) November 12, 2013

The only close reading Chuck Norris knows is when he bear hugs a library into submission. #chucknorrisedufacts—
Andy Smarick (@smarick) November 12, 2013

Chuck Norris is proficient in all 31st Century Skills. #chucknorrisedufacts—
Paul Bruno (@MrPABruno) November 11, 2013

Testing is unnecessary because teachers, schools, districts, and states are already accountable to Chuck Norris. #chucknorrisedufacts—
Jacob Waters (@jacobwaters) November 11, 2013

(Hat tip: Jacob Waters)