Sarah Tantillo, Ed.D. is the author of “The Literacy Cookbook” and “Hit the Drum: An Insider’s Account of How the Charter School Idea Became a National Movement.”

A few weeks ago, a dear friend and her family came to visit me.  When the weather took a turn, we taught her twin 11-year-old girls a card game which we played happily for hours.  But I noticed something.  About every 45 minutes, one daughter would say she “had to go to the bathroom” and would disappear until her mother called her to come back.  The girl wasn’t sick—at least, not in a gastrological way.  She was taking her tablet into the bathroom to watch YouTube influencers.

The addictive power of social media platforms should be obvious to anyone who joins them.  Indeed, when TikTok first appeared, I spent 90 seconds watching video after video, sucked into the vortex, then pulled back and actually said out loud, “Oh, hell no!” and deleted the app from my phone.  But I’m a middle-aged adult.  I have a lot going on in my life.  I can see how distractions could derail important work.

Teenagers and pre-teens, by contrast, lack that perspective—literally.  Their prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that helps us process and direct our attention based on our goals—is not fully developed.  They truly don’t have the brain capacity to make good decisions about enticing technology.  Plus, their friends are all into it.  And of course they love the instant gratification. 

After dinner one night, my friends and I decided to watch The Social Dilemma, a Netflix documentary in which former employees of Facebook, Google, Pinterest, etc. explain how technology platforms affect our behavior.  These platforms are designed INTENTIONALLY to capture users’ attention in order to generate ad revenue.  Or as one speaker puts it, “If there’s no charge for the product, YOU’RE the product.”  They use our data to create digital models of us so they can customize the features that draw us in.

Along with interviews, the film dramatizes the problem by showing a family in which the teenage son’s phone addiction leads him into trouble.

As we watched, the girls groaned: “This is terrible!  I don’t know if I even want to have a phone anymore!”  The bathroom-goer exclaimed, “I’m not like that!  I’m not!” And then she left the room, returned with her tablet, and started playing an online game while we watched the rest of the movie.  I am not making this up.

On the bright side, afterwards, we had a very productive conversation.  Both the girls and their parents were concerned about what they had just witnessed.  When the parents explained why they needed to be more vigilant about monitoring device usage going forward, the girls were upset (well, one in particular), but on some level they understood.

If you are a parent or an educator, I HIGHLY recommend this movie.  In fact, I urge school leaders to host screenings for parents and children this fall.  The filmmakers are happy to support that endeavor with resources for anyone who is interested.

Here’s the trailer.  Check it out.  Seriously.