Derek J. Demeri (he/him or they/them) is an attorney at Zeff Law Firm focused on civil rights and employment discrimination matters. 

As the LGBTQ+ community celebrates this pride month, many reflect on our history to call for — and unapologetically demand — a better future. We are reminded of our collective history, in which those who paved the way for our present realities relied on each other to resist concerted government efforts to erase our existence.

We reflect on how our community turned to each other during the AIDS epidemic, the medical community, and so-called family-first Christians vilified and shunned us as blighted pariahs. We refuse to forget that our lives and existence were criminalized until a mere twenty years ago.

For many of us, we also recall our own personal histories of relying on the community to survive and thrive. In my own childhood, it was other young queer people who helped me move away from the fraudulent and abusive practices of my church performing conversion therapy on me — a few years before New Jersey outlawed the practice for minors.

I also vividly recall my public North Jersey high school attempting to prevent the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance before my history teacher very bravely stepped in. Without community during these difficult times, my sense of self-worth would look very different today.

We celebrate this month not only to honor these histories but to acknowledge the hostility we must still navigate. Throughout the country, hate against the LGBTQ+ community (particularly transgender youth) is being used at unprecedented rates as political leverage to rally right-wing bases.

Texas, for example, directed its child protective services to investigate parents of transgender youth because providing established and necessary medical care to their children was an alleged form of child abuse. Arkansas, like several other states, has banned gender-affirming medical care for transgender youth over the strong and overwhelming opposition from the medical community and their parents. Many states have taken the unusually cruel approach to legislatively ban transgender girls from participating in sports as well.

Against this backdrop, I’m thankful for the protections that New Jersey offers. Just this April, Gov. Phil Murphy signed Executive Order 326 making our state a safe haven for gender-affirming healthcare. Among other things, this Executive Order protects trans youth and their parents who flee from states like Arkansas. EO 326 does this by lawfully sheltering them from potential legal liability within our borders.

I’m also thankful that we have one of — if not the— strongest anti-discrimination laws in the country, which has long protected sexual orientation and gender identity in a variety of circumstances like employment, housing, and public accommodations.

Despite these great advancements New Jersey has made, we cannot idly sit back assuming there is not more work to be done. With the support of national organizations (well-funded with dark money nonetheless), reactionary groups have emerged in New Jersey seeking to channel anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment towards banning queer-friendly and gender-diverse books — of course, while claiming not to be bigoted in the process.

School officials in Hanover Township had the impudence to try and force teachers to out their LGBTQ+ students and then spend taxpayer money on a lawyer to absurdly argue it was innocent of causing any discrimination.

Then again, perhaps if New Jersey had any open LGBTQ+ representation in the Legislature, people like State Senator Mike Testa might consider the human ramifications of using transgender girls and LGBTQ+ people for their own political gain.

Against this backdrop, here is my call for Pride. Defend us: when LGBTQ+ people are not in the room or we are drowned out by the loudest voices, show up and leverage what you can to undo the ongoing efforts of LGBTQ+ erasure. Elevate us: promote us to leadership; elect us into office; develop pipelines towards leadership.

Unfortunately, we are severely underrepresented in leadership throughout this State and it has not occurred without accident. Finally, we need to continue to identify, craft, and aid the passage of policy that eliminates the barriers to all LGBTQ+ people’s full development.

Some of these policies include decriminalizing and destigmatizing sex work, providing stabilizing and life-saving resources to address our healthcare and housing crisis for low- and moderate-income LGBTQ+ people, and giving anti-bullying protections meaningful enforcement mechanisms against violating school districts.

In celebrating pride, this month means something different for every LGBTQ+ person. For me, I use it to embrace our community’s diversity and draw strength in our collective struggles to renew our desires for a better future. It’s a time to dream of what could be, not what is; a time to envision how we get there. This pride month, I ask you to do the same.